My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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