We're like a lot better than the average bears
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
