The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
that is very illegal...i love you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
