It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Randomize
