I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
