Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
