Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize