I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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