thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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