She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
worst night to have a conscience
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
