So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
