i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
