She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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