Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
