We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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