I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this beer tastes like vomit already
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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