I am full of burrito and curiosity
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize