I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
