singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
