Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
