Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
