i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
