Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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