on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
