what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
