ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
