she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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