he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
there is glitter all over my balls
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
