i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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