it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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