you would pick up someone in the library
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
