my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive