Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.