I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there's paper in my vomit.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.