guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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