I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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