There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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