Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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