Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
