You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
