I puked a lego.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
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A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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