I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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