Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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