If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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