He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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