I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
