We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
