just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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