its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
