You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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