Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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