At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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