My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
