If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
