He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
being pregnant is like rehab
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
