You made me cry and you don't even care
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
