Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize