I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
