And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
