i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
