Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
