Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
